The Flip Side

"Are We Really So Different?"

"We are full of contradictions. Humans are complex beings who cannot align their thoughts, words, and actions. For example, we talk a lot about kindness, peace and spirituality - but we quickly judge someone's worthiness based on our limited exposure - and we usually fail to extend that kindness beyond a chosen few. We talk about moral and intellectual superiority, but we close our minds for convenience, hunt for sport, torture for food, and justify our beliefs and fears. We preach coexistence but cannot tolerate people with different opinions or perspectives. The list is endless! However, I want to focus specifically on our best friend and us as I do not want to sound too philosophical, and well - I am biased towards the unconditional kindness these creatures have bestowed upon me for many years!"

Meet Nawab

I'll start with an experience. My beloved uncle in my hometown has a German Shepherd named 'Nawab'. Being a doctor, my uncle never had much time, and his primary reason for having a pet in the house was probably security (some of it was related to my cousins wanting one). Not everyone gave him constant love or attention; he just grew up independently among all the family members. Even so, his yearning for my uncle was so intense that he would NOT eat his dinner unless my uncle stood near him - that's one time during the day when he demanded his presence. That, along with some love here and there from the entire family, was all that Nawab wanted. Nawab would always walk behind my uncle in the garden or sit near his feet - like a perfect symphony.

A few years ago, Nawab got sick, and it seemed like he would not survive - he got weak, was in constant agony, and yet yearned for only one comfort - he wanted to be right next to my uncle - his master. My uncle was never too attached to Nawab but stayed in the same room to comfort and care for him. My uncle and I would talk sometimes and discuss what we could do to heal Nawab - and, one day, he quoted, "Dogs are such amazing creatures. They leave their kind to be with us and constantly stay loyal irrespective of favourable/ unfavourable behaviour shown towards them. I could never give him enough time, but I am still his master. Even today, he is at peace near me".

I smiled on the other side of the call because I knew Nawab's unconditional love had finally rubbed off on my uncle. With our efforts, Nawab is back to his old self, and he continues to walk behind my uncle in the garden and rest near his feet. EVERY DAY.

So why am I talking about this experience? Well, when we talk about dogs we always have stories of deep love or loyalty; but, in my experience of many years, when I talk to people, I can usually put them into one of three categories - (1) Ones who share the same or similar love as I do, (2) Ones who fear them due to an unfortunate experience, and (3) Ones who are disgusted by them due to their own beliefs. To each their own. Sometimes I would hear that human life is more precious and wonder 'why'? Should we fight over life's superiority instead of loving all the creatures around us? Isn't distinction truly about our ability to care for the less fortunate? Isn't spirituality about loving all beings? Are other animals so different from us in what they feel and do? While I still cannot answer those questions to everyone's satisfaction, I am still trying to present a comparative view from a pet parent's perspective. I hope it brings some tolerance in today's intolerant society.

Preamble

Humans and Dogs have coexisted/ coevolved together over thousands of years, and dogs are unusually skilled at reading human social/ communicative behaviour. As a result, we have become increasingly dependent on each other. We do not raise our eyebrows when the same canine saves our lives by being part of the Army, Security, Search & Rescue, Bomb Squad, or just by a helping companion to people with disabilities. The duties that these canines do every day are just remarkable! But our thought process takes a 180-degree turn regarding dogs in our communities or streets. Here are my Top 5 requests,

#1 Understand the Behaviour

Animals learn from their experience just like we do. They feel similar emotions like joy, excitement, fear, sadness, and distress and can respond to situations based on past experiences (just like us!). When we tag a dog as 'dangerous', it is battling some fearful situation 'alone' every day, and what we see as 'aggression' could be a defence mechanism. Nobody is there to make it feel safe when we continue to scare it more. We have a support system around us when we are afraid of something - try being in that constant fearful situation and then battle that fear alone. So...Understand them and help them.

#2 To Each Their Own

Like kids, pets also need a lot of care when they are young (and when they're old). They have zero schedules for eating or pooping, keep us awake during the night, cry for attention, break a few things in the house (or chew through some), and tend to go somewhere they shouldn't, and they are skilled at embarrassing us in public! It's debatable to call the experience similar, but who am I to tell someone how they feel through motherhood or pet ownership is inherently wrong? Everyone puts different levels of effort into parenthood – Kids or Pets. Respect that.

#3 Face Your Fears

Like kids, pets also get excited to meet new people. But unlike kids, they are often sent behind closed doors, chained in a corner, or subjected to muzzles because people are afraid. Eventually, the pet relates people to stressful situations. It starts barking at them whenever they have an encounter, and we get into a never-ending cycle of "Please keep it away!". Try doing the same with a human child who doesn't understand the world; I am sure it'll be challenging for them to know why they're allowed to meet some people and not others. They'll eventually develop a fear of meeting people altogether. For a change...Try loving a dog; you'll be amazed at how it makes you feel.

#4 Learn to Accommodate

Does your child love to be restricted? What if you take them downstairs but do not leave their hand? Would they be happy if this continued every day? Would they miss running freely? Many of us will say that people should not keep dogs in apartments - but do you abandon your kids if you move from a big house to a one-bedroom apartment? Dogs are just like kids. They like to run around and play - but we often neglect their needs and then complain that the dogs are out of control! Next time, keep your kids indoors for two weeks and observe their mood. Let's make efforts for each other.

#5 Be Tolerant

Parents can get very stressed when their child is sick. The stress only increases further when the child cannot tell the parent about the discomfort that they're feeling! Welcome to pet parenthood (for life!). Pets can get hurt, fall sick or slowly develop diseases, and we do not have 'Fortis' or 'Medanta' or 'Apollo' that we can walk into for the best healthcare! The probability of NOT getting the best care is higher, and we accept or remind ourselves that this kid of ours will eventually pass before us and leave a big emotional vacuum in our hearts. To you, it's JUST a dog; to someone, it's their life.

Ultimately, we can coexist only by making our fair share of efforts. When a human hurts another human or an animal - we do not rage a war against all humanity! However, when a dog does the same to a human (intentionally or unintentionally) - we declare the entire species dangerous! Our thought process drives our tolerance - I hope our thoughts become clearer so we can see Dogs for what they are - Our Oldest Companions!

"The one absolute, unselfish friend that someone can have in this selfish world - the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous - is their dog. It's not just a pet; it's an important family member."